For the last time...

On this last day of commuting before a nice long break, Boz would just like to say, for the last time...

1. If your direct service is delayed, don't get on the stopping service but wait for the next fast one. You'll get there sooner and you won't make the stopper overcrowded. Muppets.

2. Don't tap your feet along to the music on your ipod. And definitely don't sing.

3. In the height of summer, large men in suits are advised to wait until later in the day before travelling so no one else has to suffer your end-of-the-day stench.

4. Don't fall asleep with your mouth open or snore. In fact, just don't fall asleep.

5. A train guard's priority is to open the doors in a timely manner, not to pester commuters to see their rail passes when the destination station has barriers anyway...

6. No one thought this train was overcrowded or delayed until you got on it and started moaning.

7. Don't start talking to pregnant people you don't know about the contents of their wombs, unless they are weird enough to initiate the conversation.

8. Don't snog your other half on the train if you are incapable of doing so without making loud slurpy noises.

9. No one, least of all the person you're talking at, wants to hear you go on and on about work.

10. Don't repeat yourself more than once while using a mobile phone on the train. If they can't hear you, give up.

11. Chocolate is always the answer, no matter what the question.

Thank you. It's been magical.

The final countdown

So it's Boz's last week of commuting before going off the prepare for the arrival of Boz Jr. I couldn't write anything yesterday thanks to a yoghurt-related incident on the train, after which the day just went down hill...

If I can get through the week without being talked at by the pregnant woman who wants to compare notes - yes, dear, you're huge - or the mother of three who wants to give me lots of advice - er, who are you? - then it will have been a success.

Boz is still open to suggestions on what to blog about when not commuting. Judging by my attitude to young mums and other pregnant people then there's a good chance it could be them!

Strange but true

Does anyone else find it weird to see a grey-haired businessman wearing one of those rubber wristband things for some cause or other as he goes to work in his suit of a morning? There are more of them than you might think.

Incidentally, you're wearing far too much advershave too, mate. Can't breathe... *cough*

Not impressed

Well, it's a rare thing these days but it does still happen - there's someone smoking on my train. Not impressed. He's drunk and his mate's got a pint glass half full of beer. All in all, not something that a pregnant cat wants to endure at the end of the day.

Oh well, I've got a couple of days off now then only nine more commuting days left before being able to put my feet up for a bit!

Nice

My train this morning smells of piss. Which is nice. No further comment.